Goodbye My Lover
by IWillEditYourBooks
Summary: Alex’s POV. Oneshot fluff. Set to Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt. Pre, during, and post Loss.


**Goodbye My Lover**

**Summary**: Alex's POV. Oneshot fluff. Set to Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt. Pre, during, and post Loss.

**A/N**: So here it is—I've been thinking about writing a songfic for this James Blunt song for some time and I decided to do it. This time Alex really is in WP (I'm so temperamental! I'm sorry!) And I desperately need a CO idea soon—but I digress, here's the story.

**I still don't own SVU. Or "Goodbye My Lover" for that matter**.

**Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.**

I did everything I could. You always said that I would get too close to case one day. That is, unfortunately what ended up happening. I was so focused on my job that I neglected my safety and yours, and I'm just lucky that you weren't hurt. I can only say that I'm sorry that I disappointed you, but I don't regret any of it. I guess I should have known that our relationship was too perfect to last forever.

**  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
Took your soul out into the night.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care.**

I love you, Olivia. It kills me that I can't be with you. I may not be dead, but I certainly feel like I might as well be. I'll wait, Liv. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you. I swear I'll come back to you the second I can.

**  
You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when  
My heart was blinded by you.  
**

Before you, I was so career-oriented that even I look back and say that I was crazy. I knew you were my soul mate, and as soon as we started dating I knew that we were meant for each other. Before long, all of my future plans involved you, and I still can't imagine what I'm going to do when I'm so far away from you.

**I've kissed your lips and held your hand.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you.**

**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**

"I love you, Alex." You said one night, almost a year ago.

"I know." I said coyly in response, "I love you too."

It's like a video that plays constantly in my head. ****

I am a dreamer and when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be  


The only thing that gets me through each day in this rural hell they call Wisconsin is thinking of you—thinking of your cocky strut, your perfume, and especially your deep brown eyes. They didn't let me take anything with me. I don't have any pictures to remind me of the gorgeous woman I left behind in New York. For now, dreaming will have to suffice.

**I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you.**

"Don't you dare give me that look, Cabot! We did everything we could, and YOU were the one who couldn't get him convicted!" You screamed.

"That's a load of shit, Olivia! I couldn't convict him because YOU didn't find enough evidence against him!" I screamed back at you—probably louder than what was called for.

This was the last argument we had…on the night before I "died". Of course, after we realized that there was nothing either of us could have done differently, we made up. And, like we always did after we fought, we fucked. Hard.

**Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.**

And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bare my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet.  
Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.

I can't wait until I can come home, Olivia. I think about it every second. The worst is when I go to sleep and I dream that you're sleeping next to me, and I wake up to find that you aren't there. It's not fair for me to keep you waiting for me. You need to go on with your life. Please, Liv, do it for me. I can't begin to tell you how much you mean to me, and I can only hope that one day I'll be able to show you. But for now, I'll have to keep going through the motions. My life is nothing without you, Olivia.

**I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.**


End file.
